I don’t understand why as imperfect humans we tend to want everything to be perfect most of the time. Candidly, I’ve struggled with this myself. Life just doesn’t work that way…like.. AT ALL. So let’s talk about, all of it! The reason perfectionism is a problem and how to solve it.
These problems and solutions are not exhaustive of course but I’d say it’s a great place to start.
Problem #1
For starters the desire for perfection is a hindrance. You can’t reach your goals expecting that everything you set out to do will be done to perfection. If you regulate yourself this way, you’ll fall short everytime because as a perfectionist, you won’t move forward without things being exactly the way you want them. This results in delayed starts, starting and not finishing, or never gaining momentum.
Solution #1
Celebrate small wins. Anytime you set out to do something, celebrate the progress made. If you want to begin exercising and wanted to accomplish working out for three days in a given week and you only worked out one…that’s progress- celebrate it. Is it not one step in the right direction? Don’t beat yourself up about not working out the three days and end up neglecting to workout the following week altogether because you didn’t meet your goal…start over the next week, recalibrate and go! A win is a win, no matter how small.
Problem #2
The desire for perfection can be anxiety inducing. Obsessing over the way you look, performance at work, the way your children present in public, marks in school, the way your home looks….my goodness- it’s a lot just thinking about it. How can one ever be satisfied with anything if nothing is the way it’s expected to be all the time. This doesn’t mean we can’t care about these things…caring is good. Caring so much that you stress yourself out and are anxious about everything…not good.
Solution #2
Focus on completing small reasonable tasks. For example, telling yourself you’re going to wash the dishes and make sure the kitchen is clean before bed on a week day is reasonable. Telling yourself you’re going to vacuum the house, mop all the floors, clean the kitchen and wash/dry a load of laundry is not reasonable. Sometimes, it’s ALL needed but “small and reasonable” chunks of anything still gets the job done. There you have it, little to no stress yet some part of the house was cleaned, I”ll take it.
Problem #3
Perfectionism almost always has an element of caring what others think…that’s a no no. Have you heard the saying “What other people think of me is none of my business”? To a certain extent, it’s true. Of course you don’t want a bad reputation or anything and the opinions of our closest family and friends are important to us. But outside of your inner most circle of trusted family and friends, let go of what others MAY think about you as a result of things not being “perfect”. Nine times out of ten, no one is really thinking anything of you because people naturally have a tendency to be more focused on themselves (that’s just how it goes).
Solution #3
Trust in God. It’s that simple. Proverbs 29:25 says that “The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that.” -MSG This can be challenging for so many reasons but settle into this scripture. Trusting in God protects you from the opinion of others. When you don’t worry about the opinion of others, perfectionism becomes more distant and life begins to change for the better.
Tell me your thoughts!
Have you struggled with perfectionism? How has it impacted you? How have you made space for living a less than perfect life?
With Love,
Stacia
